Ageism-Farewell To Friends and Loved Ones

Heni speaks of the vision, which grows in aging, leading us beyond the limitations of our human self  “It is a vision that makes us not only detach ourselves from preoccupation with the past but also from the importance of the present.  It is a vision that invites us to a total, fearless surrender in which the distinction between life and death slowly loses its pain”.  The author, Aldous Huxley describes the exact moment of his wife’s death: “Let go, let go…go forward into the light.  Let yourself be carried into the light.  No memories, no regrets, no looking backward, no apprehensive thoughts about your own or anyone else’s  future.  Only light.  Only this pure being, this love, this joy.”   This month I lost two of my most dear friends, Mary and Lynn.  Both were cheer leaders in my life, both called me to be my better self and loved unconditionally.  I believe it is is true that they were carried into the Light and they now  know the folly of worry about yesterday or tomorrow.  It is ironic that the very event that we fear and the aging that confirms it is the path to our liberation.  They completed their life’s mission and  I miss them  but I believe that they heard these words:  “Welcome good and faithful Servant!”.    Rest in peace, Dear Friends.  The loss of loved ones is a common human experience but the gift of their lives is a blessing to us all.  The lesson is to build on to the gifts of all their lives and on and on and on.  Thoughts?

4 thoughts on “Ageism-Farewell To Friends and Loved Ones”

  1. You had me at “hello”, I am in tears. First, I am sorry to hear about Mary and Lynn. They were so lucky to have YOU in their life and to continue their teachings. I would like to see this article transformed to help others who are losing loved ones that are not aged. I have friends that have lost children and I do believe this article, being transformed just a bit, could help so many others.
    In this case, it’s perfect for your blog; I am positive many others will be moved by your blog. YOU are a gift from God.

  2. Dear Christina: Thank you for your condolences and for making the time to comment on this blog. I believe we each have a “call” on our lives. Ironically, I feel mine is symbolized by the “seamless garment” :to protect life from conception to a natural death. As a young mother and now an aging senior I have felt the need to share my experience and those of others willing to share theirs. I am broken by the death of a child or young person because words are inadequate, I can do nothing but stand with those who are left behind. I believe in life after death and in this belief, faith that our loved ones are experiencing a “new life”. When someone has lived a long life, consolation is in this fact. Words fail in light of the loss of a “new light” but faith still stands that they are “Faithful Servants” who are welcomed to to “new life”. Please continue the dialogue and invite others to share. We need you!!!

  3. During my nursing career, I was blessed to care for – and be cared for spiritually- by many dying children. They varied in age from 6 mos’ gestation to the late teens, but they all had the same beautiful aura about them, in their very mature acceptance of letting go of the past, the present, and going “home”, to be safe, whole, and at total peace with God. They were a wondrous blessing to all who came in contact with them, and I felt honored to be allowed to care for their needs, to speak and sing to them, to cuddle them in the rocking chair. My soul was in anguish as each grew weaker, and suffered pain that I was unable to relieve, and that they had to die so young, but my grief was eventually put to rest, by the glow of inner peace shining through their eyes. Not that all went like lambs – not by any means! Most of the teenagers railed openly at their cancer, the friends who were so caught up in the perils of high school life that they had no time to visit, the unfairness of it all, the suffering of their parents. Or, worse, they went into “blue funks”. These things they were powerless to change. Yet, still they were somehow able to come to grips with the truth that there was something, someone waiting for them who would “dry every tear”. These children always made me feel like I was privileged to be caring for angels, and I could never get enough of holding and hugging them. Thank you, Jesus for truly having blessed me in my nursing career, and even more for tenderly embracing these, your little ones, and restoring them to joyous life in heaven!

  4. Dear Helen: As you wrote, you are blessed to have cared for so many dying children and they and their families have most definitely been blessed by you. Life takes on greater significance in the face of death. It speaks volumes that you could see the “aura” of their spirits and the “mature acceptance of letting go of the past, the present and going ‘home'”. What an honor to stand with them as they travelled their ultimate journey and to see them “home”. Dear Helen, such a difficult but necessary ministry. Thank you to putting words and hope to this most difficult reality of life…the death of a child. Your role as a nurse allowed you to stand with their devastated parents and friends and as inadequate as we humans are in our ability to change the outcome, you were there. Bless you.


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